The Glitter Egg Tutorial to end all Glitter Egg Tutorials

and also suck it Martha Stewart.

She's a filthy liar. Anyone who knows her knows it. As Alicia says "Did everyone just forget that she's a felon?" Which is why I did not heed her advice when making these glitter eggs...

at least not a second time...

Tip #1: You wanna make pretty things? Get pretty. Bust out the party ware and doilies.

Dont forget the snacks and the whimsy. It will help you get and stay inspired. Cover your table with last season's Ikea catalog. More fun and less messy than newspaper.

 I must preface this by saying, some of you may think I'm smart and good at things. But I'm not. Its my husband...Whom I told I was making glitter eggs and he just knew how to do it perfectly by instinct. This tutorial is his genius. I am just a groupie.

Things you will need:

1. We used Martha Stewart's 24 pack glitter set and some other random wannabees I would not recommend as they are lackluster in comparison to good old Martha's luminescent flecks.

2. Paintbrush

3. Craft Glue

4. Yellow food coloring 

4. Styrofoam cup cut in half

5. Paper Plate

Step 1. Prepare your glue

-Squeeze desired amount into a shallow bowl

-Thin glue by adding a splash of hot water and stirring quickly

- See where you have already applied glue to your egg by adding a drop of yellow food coloring to the glue mixture. #effingbrilliant

 Step2.  Paint egg completely in glue and drop egg into styrofoam cup handling as little as possible. You could use tongs or a spoon, but I just gently rolled it from my paper plate into the cup not touching it at all.

Step 3. Pour glitter into cup evenly covering as much egg surface as possible. 

Step 4. Roll the egg around in the cup and tap sides to distribute glitter to other side of the egg.

 Step 5. Keep adding glitter. You know when Martha says to use "generous amounts" of things? Well, it turns out its not just her being a greedy bitch again. Its because it looks better when you dont half ass things. Who knew? Anyway, don't be scared to fill the cup up with glitter. You can re-use it again and again and again and again.

Step 6. Don't be an impatient Ira (like me). Let the egg dry in the glitter inside the cup. I would say at least for 15 minutes.

p.s. - there is not nearly enough pink glitter in the cup below. 

Surprise surprise I run out of pink glitter first.

If you have room in your fridge - I would place the glitter eggs directly into the baskets or 

display they will stay in.

This golden / copper / moss color combination in this big ass wooden basket happened organically like real life magic.

 

Also remember nothing counts without dogs and friends! 

Silva gets funkyyy experimenting with dyes ...

Greg is better at this than any of us ever will be. I can't draw lines this straight with scissors 

much less glue and glitter: 

 

While I become suddenly aware that I need an egg in all the colors of the glitter rainbow.

The Spring/Easter Hats and Fascinator shoot is on the main Two Back Flats blog!

 

Well darlings, please feel free to share. Make me proud and glitter the rainbow outta some eggs!

One Love

Jasika

Week Two : Hermit Crabs

Assholes. 

Oh, the glory days. Eight year old me pulled a fast one on my very* neat and clean mother and brought home two hermit crabs from a beach trip with friends. I exercised their little claws on anything tactile I could find. Rested my chin in my hands and watched them do...well...nothing for hours on end. 

Fast forward twenty...er...years and what else could possibly be cooler than using the bad ass terrarium in my entryway as a CRABITAT!? 

Step 1. Go to the beach. Tear it up. 

Step 2. Pick up a couple hermit crabs on the boardwalk. 

Meet Beatrice and Veronica. Venetian besties. 

My Venetian bestie, T, chose our beast Beatrice. Of course, pink conch shell, Veronica would be mine.   A little googling on our drive home told us B & V should stay together. Slumber. Party. 

Step 3. Build raised hexagonal tray to fill with sand. Thanks husband for entertaining the crazy. 

Step 3. Etsy.com

Step 4. Buy all the coolest miniature fairy shit that you can find. 

Bonus: Hermit Crabs love moss. It helps keep their humidity up in the crabitat. They also eat it like champs. 

The amazing mini fairy bed, cobblestone path and arbor came from Essential Whimsy. 

                         

Uhh obviously our courtesan crabs have a mini harp. 

The attention to detail on this little thing is absurd. From EYEMUSE on Etsy. 

Bonus: Got a little acorn teacup and teapot set as a gift from the seller. It was all happening. 

UNTIL. 

Veronica, who I had seen move ONCE in a week was all of a sudden CHILLIN' half out of her shell all day. I couldnt believe it! It was working. The acorn teacups did it. My crabby Veronica was softening. Literally. 

Gross. She wasn't shy. She had the plague. She's gone. 

And I swear to G, the night I took Veronica out of the crabitat, Beatrice played the harp:

Poor Beatrice. At first, I think she liked the extra space. I watched her crawl sideways, bumping into things. 

We understood each other. 

But she wasn't ever the same after that night. 

Step 5. Feel sad and grossed out.
Step 6. Make amazing mini chandelier to make yourself feel better. I used a rogue earring I hoarded that I knew would come in handy. Tied with hemp rope.
Step 7. Yea those are lace curtains. What? Apparently hermit crabs like to have a "cave" so Beatrice chose behind the bed. I was just making it darker and more cozy for her. Jeeze.

 The very next day I went and found Veronica II. There is her spiral-y behind under the bed. 

                           

 This was the real Veronica anyway with her naturally ornate shell and ornery behavior. 

Her climbing to the top of this arbor was the best thing to happen. Ever.

So here we are. Day eleven. I'm pretty sure Beatrice has died of the plague as well. She's all half out of her shell like but hermit crabs MOLT. I am way too disgusted to YouTube it after watching Veronica literally fall apart. Plus something tells me its not the case. Maybe just maybe, hermit crabs arent for me.  Besides, there is only room for one exotic crab in this house and the position has been filled. Eh hem. 

I'd like to say they have gone to a better place...but lets get real... 

 Things I would have done differently:
1. Probably should have reversed the two first steps and purchased the crab after putting together their crabitat. I hope I didn't stress them out to death. I know what that can feel like.
2. Built the raised bed out of plexiglass. The wood is already completely warped. Of course it is.
3. Bought chickens instead.

For Tia 

Love

Jas